Just a Little of a 1967 SA Bmom's Ramblings...

Although the above picture reminds me of myself and my many phone calls home to my loved ones while being in "exile" at the SA Home on Lake Ellen in Tampa, FL from early February until July 1967...the phone also reminds me that many of us SA Bmoms would like to talk to each other once again. And that is the reason I created this Guestbook Registry which is devoted to all of us Salvation Army Unwed Mother's Home Bmom Exiles.

No matter in which home you "lived" during your pregnancy I am sure that you, like myself, made many close friends that you wish you had never lost. You wonder how their lives turned out, if they are happy, and if they have ever found their children. You long to talk to them about the "bad old days" and the illusions of the "few good days"---because you know, only another SA Bmom can understand.

Not only were we barred from knowing each other's last names, but some of us even had to use fake first names. Our last name and the return address town on our incoming mail was "blocked" out before delivery... and we were told not to discuss our families or reveal the town in which we lived (although many of us did share this information). It is no wonder that we cannot find each other after the painstaking efforts society and the "home" took to ensure that our identities would remain hidden not only from the world but from each other in the future. Due to that secrecy, which of course was part of the adoption game, we not only lost our children...but we also lost many close friends as well.

I am not saying that I was treated badly at the particular SA Home in which I was exiled at Lake Ellen in Tampa, FL (although I have heard reports that many were treated poorly)...in fact, in my case, all of the "Officers" were very nice to me and I even enjoyed the company of some of them...some Officers I even considered friends in a weird sort of spiritual way. I guess I am a people-lover/peacemaker and I had a tendency to make the best of a bad situation...I would rather smile than frown. But also, in reality, my youthful "people-pleasing" mentality led me to the demise of my Motherhood and resulted in my being "brainwashed" into giving my Son away...as they "assured me" it would be "best" for everyone concerned...especially my Baby. I wonder everyday if that was true. I know it wasn't for me...my son is my only child and I don't even know if he is alive, safe, or happy--or if he hates me or misses me. I should never have let them take him from my arms. I was luckier than most girls...I held him for 2 hours.

You must excuse my rambling...but I am sure that you SA Bmoms are the only ones who can really relate to the need to share with someone who truly understands...And that is one of the points of this GUESTBOOK 1 for SA Bmoms:

• To provide a forum for SA Bmoms to come together, share their experiences with others that can truly relate, and to hopefully find some of our long lost dear Bmom friends that were lost in the shuffle.

Other objectives of GUESTBOOK 1 are:

• To provide SA Adoptees a place to search for their SA Bmom, as well as providing another search registry for our posting so that perhaps our children can find us;
  
  
• To provide SA Bmoms' Family and Friends a place to express how they felt about the banishment of their loved one to a SA Home;
  
  
• To provide SA Bdads a place to share their experiences or gather information;
  
  
• To provide a small Registry for anyone connected to a SA Home Bmom who wishes to post information;
  
  
• To provide a forum for sharing any pertinent info on dealing with obtaining records or info from the Salvation Army about our "stay" with them and our adoptions, medical care, etc.; and
  
  
• To basically just share with one another again.
  

I hope all of you SA Bmoms, Adoptees, Family, and Friends find this Guestbook not only useful...but I also hopes it brings a little Peace of Mind...

As we all could use some understanding and sharing
From someone who really can relate...
And as only we SA Bmoms know,
WE Bmoms are "truly" the only ones that can relate
To the feeling of being banished
When we really had committed no sin...
And having our own precious child
Be taken from our life as if he or she was an object,
And not the Human Being we lovingly grew within.